✖

OKAY.
THAT'S IT.
I've had enough.

Ugh.

Last night I was so upset I actually felt a.. stirring, as Jack Sparrow would put it. A stirring of sorts that resulted in me choking. This is a rarity and I actually felt human for the first time, in a long time.

So in order to not experience that anymore, I'm going to quit this shit. I think I've got 9/10 of my mind bent on it already so this is a fairly affirmative decision. Karma is quite possibly informing me of her existence and I am fucking scared shitless. It's like deja vu, I need to start learning from my mistakes and never look back again.

This is really whiny, but

No one takes me seriously.
(except my oppa)

Why. Why why why why. I'm like one of those girls that guys will say they'd date, but not marry. I'll be like those girls that end up single forever even till they grow old and grey with nothing but wrinkles and a disposable income. I'll have to resort to hiring toy girls and becoming a sugar mummy therefore ending up with MORE players.

Ew.

Maybe it's time to appear serious. With a serious vibe. Like a, I will want to marry you immediately should you decide to progress further kind of vibe. Or a, I will give my everything to you should our lips find a way to each other vibe. Appear boring, tweet about love / heartbreak, only think / talk about love... etc. Be part of the general population.

Alternatively, I could look at it from another perspective and wonder why no one has enough balls to take me seriously. Or guts, since they're girls. Yes, this makes much more sense, actually.

BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME AS I AM A PERSON WHO IS CAPABLE OF HOLDING LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS. *defensive*

No one probably gets this but,

I am certain 1 person would.

CAKESKITTYRAMBUTANUNICORNTREE!

Hello you always make me happy I hope you knowwww that.

◊

Ooo so much angst, Effy.
-

"How can you even be human, Sophia."
"I don't know. Maybe I'm not. Sometimes I think I'm Satan's love child."
"Like with a cat?"
"Yes, with a cat."
"So that's why you're a scaredy cat."
"Good one. But fuck you."

◗

This is what happens when you cross boundaries and surpass limitations. Death is stealthy and death is sly. He sneaks in, between the slightest crevices that you barely know exist. And he waits. Time. Time has no momentum in oblivion. Its fog wavers and sways with no figure or form. But death is immortal and time plays no effect on him.

Humans, however
drain away
slowly
until we are nothing but death's manifestations living on earth.

We are immobile, purposeless, and void.
And it is comforting.