counter

being 26 is difficult because you're seen so much shit happen to yourself and everyone around you all you can think of shit is coming to get cha shit everywhere shit coming from assholes shit out of people's mouths shit in people's brains shit swallowing an entire person's existence shit just fucking with your life and i know being 26 means you're supposed to be mature and controlled, ready to face the world, you'd think with 26 years of life experience you'd glide through life with grace, elegance and understanding.

but no.

being 26 means you've passed the peak of your prime, the time when things like collagen, purpose and clarity start packing up to go because you're supposed to have gathered them up, squeezed them till they're dry as an autumn leaf so you're not left a mediocre shit-stained shell, jaded and empty and oh dear god do i wish i'd died when 25 came strolling by as my legs dangled off the ledge dear god why.

why did i even stop to contemplate the possibility of possibility?
i've fucked up too much to be saved.