over dinner

T : I skipped work in the end.
S : Why? Didn't you head back early?
A : She was already in bed by the time I was home.
S : Oh I see. (pause) OH... I SEE ;)
T : (glares) WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OF. YOU HAVE SUCH A DIRTY MIND YOU ARE SO GROSS SOPHIA. YOU HAVE SUCH A DIRTY, DIRTY MIND.
S : Um. Ok... (?!?!?!)
T : YOU ARE SO ANNOYING.
S : (?!?!?!)
T : SO ANNOYING SO DIRTY SO GROSS (ETC ETC ETC)
.
.
.

Okay... I don't know about you but this makes me even more suspicious.

Also, I love her but I feel so sorry for her like. Just. I'm so sorry straight girls have to deal with such shit - dealing with having to act like they don't care for sex or can't even bring themselves to think of sex as something remotely normal. Slut-shaming each other without realising that it's all for the sake of the patriarchy. Having to conform with patriarchal expectations of women while allowing men to do whatever the hell they want with no need to ever feel "shameful" or "dirty". I'm so pissed off and SO glad I'm lesbian. I'd rather deal with homophobia than be oppressed. Seriously. Thank God I'll never have to keep my mouth shut about sex and pretend I'm all chaste and shit. It's so repulsive and pretentious and just... sad. I'm sorry but everyone likes sex okay. Unless you're asexual. But generally everyone likes sex. Sex is good. Just say it.

The floor that supports your weight.

My original intention was to post something about life and it's usual idiosyncrasies but it was hard to begin without an 'I'.

Everyone was right.

1 year of fighting so hard to prove them wrong.

But here's the towel.

Let me throw it at you. That's how it's done, apparently.

Take it.

just hanging with cosette

Come on. Snap out of it already.

—

Also.

Also also also.

한국, 내가 간다!

(translation : Korea (hangug), I (naega) coming (ganda))

note : most likely grammatically incorrect but you get the gist

There is a rhythm to which the Universe beats.

Some days, the world spins differently.
It does a backflip and an outstanding somersault, finishing with a half twist of acrobatic proportions.
And then the life as you know, is no longer.

God has a way of mocking the human race. He bribes you with hope and spoils you with luck.
There's that tiny print that the ants carry on their backs but we squish them with our finger tips or torch them with lighters, drowning in our shrill laughter so the message is never received that:

We're the world's little toys.

The Wolves howl at our foolishness, 
Horses guffaw when we never learn, 
Cats snigger at our cries for affection, 
and Crows cackle overhead when we fail, and fail again.

The world mock us, along with God above as we 'live'.
Egoistic and self centered,
rotten and obtuse,
optimistic and ignorant.

We pick ourselves up blindly, eat our cake, struggle to survive, battle disasters, and start pointless wars.
All while withering away slowly until Death comes to tell us, 'you've used up your credit'.

And then the moment you leave,
God sends someone new to take over your place.

THE LINE. IT HAS BEEN SMEARED.

No one probably gives a shit about this but.

I have to remember it.

We Got Married Global Edition Lee Hong Ki x Fujii Mina holy smokes after 2 months of diabetes-inducing sweetness, they've ended. A good 30 minutes worth of making out was due right after their dramatic embrace but no. Reality shows never fail to DISAPPOINT. Pfft.

I'm just... going to sit in this corner and weep softly.

BRB.

Oh wait, before that - I've been living in perpetual pain for the past week and am now contemplating suicide. which is worse? death or agony? idk.

IDK ANYMORE.

GOOD GOD I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO EAT A BAG OF CHIPS GODDAMN IT.

Dayum Guurl

counter

being 26 is difficult because you're seen so much shit happen to yourself and everyone around you all you can think of shit is coming to get cha shit everywhere shit coming from assholes shit out of people's mouths shit in people's brains shit swallowing an entire person's existence shit just fucking with your life and i know being 26 means you're supposed to be mature and controlled, ready to face the world, you'd think with 26 years of life experience you'd glide through life with grace, elegance and understanding.

but no.

being 26 means you've passed the peak of your prime, the time when things like collagen, purpose and clarity start packing up to go because you're supposed to have gathered them up, squeezed them till they're dry as an autumn leaf so you're not left a mediocre shit-stained shell, jaded and empty and oh dear god do i wish i'd died when 25 came strolling by as my legs dangled off the ledge dear god why.

why did i even stop to contemplate the possibility of possibility?
i've fucked up too much to be saved.

on fire

A lie by omission is one where one lies by omitting a fact, deliberately leaving another person with a misconception. Lying by omission includes failure to correct pre-existing misconceptions. If you are withholding relevant information in order to sway a person's judgment in some way, then it appears you are in fact lying to him or her. So here's Buddy.

✝

My existence carries no weight.
That is not alright.

A link

Lesbian Dating Rules

WORD.

There are so many others that agree with it.

AfterEllen
Grace the spot
Thread
Lesbian Code
Gurl
EffingDykes


Y'know, just sayin'.

freaking out

because a simple conversation has made me realise that
I am wasting my youth and time what am I even doing oh god why is life so hard,


oh dear.
oh dear oh dear.

vipers

My japanese tutor would be so proud of my terrific handwriting comparable to that of a 10 year old's. I remember him going "?!" after writing "韓国" because my 韓 was 3x larger than the 国. How do Japanese people write kanji without making them look like giants beside their hiragana / katakana counterparts?

...

Tokyo awaits in about 8 hours.

緊張しています

A MYTH

How do you know when you are truly and wholly over a person?

Let me ponder over this while consuming delectable japanese food products tonight.

Side note: I've decided that the core problem with me and my overwhelming sense of insecurity towards everyone around me (ie, parents, girlfriend, sisters, friends, colleagues, best friend - even though she always always always reassures me despite my problems being frustratingly repetitive) is my lack of self esteem. People say that they have 'low self esteem' and 'low confidence' in the most flippant manner but I mean it guys. When you are convinced everyone around you secretly hate you and think you are full of shit and wish you never existed / is just making use of your existence until it wears out, it's time to re-evaluate your personal rating of our own self worth.

Now the million dollar question is HOW.
How the fuck?
How can anyone feel worthy of anything when they are so imperfect and flawed.

sos

S.O.S
S.O.S

Everyday for the past 3 weeks.
182 more days to go.

People talk shit all the time so forgive me if I do not believe in anything.

There are 182 more days of madness.
Within which I will get inked / travel to tokyo / get lost in tokyo  / visit london and bristol / travel to taipei / lose weight / lose all emotions / lose myself / join a church / seek salvation / fail / bungee jump / sky dive / get plastic surgery / set specific people on fire / set their families on fire / set their pets on fire / set myself on fire / shout s.o.s but die anyway lol.

Life.

liar, liar, pants on fire

If you wish to lie, at least make it a damn good one, impossible to figure out and cover your loopholes, no matter how small.

Sarcastic type

   


—
Pretty amazing how a random sketch inspired by the sudden influx of highly confident individuals' shameless modelling of their bodies could turn into something I actually find mildly appealing. Of course, it's lined with mistakes aplenty but I drew that shit and then I traced that shit out in Illustrator and then I threw that shit into Photoshop and prettied that shit up until I got that shit above. That's a million hours worth of work and yes, I am exaggerating.

Honestly though, WHY. Why do people post their bodies on instagram. WHY. All I see are flaws (unless you are a person of heavenly decent like the angels of Victoria's Secret). Why do people even LIKE those pictures. Why does the general population encourage / motivate such blatant narcissistic attempts for attention. WHY.

Probably not

—
Done at a whim because my girlfriend needed some posters ASAP (caps deliberate). Ended up not even giving this to her because I am an anal, perfectionistic retard who is never satisfied and hates all her work. I hate all my work. I really do. Sometimes I stare at all the shit I've done in these 2 years and mope over the fact that I will never have enough balls to put anything in my portfolio. But hey, here is a pink / purple / blue swirly word thingy with a thousand edits accompanied by a million disappointed sighs.

Thursdays are ironically my most detested day of the week. How about that.

ゼリー

So I just found out my passport is due to expire. Which creates the probability of me not being able to go to Tokyo next month with the rest of my company. 

Depressing.