Thursday, March 21, 2013

Egg position (featuring Pandagator)

My girlfriend always uses the most amusing choice of words.

Butt perv

Yeah okay.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Creative ways to carry a bag

My office is going a bit crazy looking for curvy models.

There was an animal adoption drive earlier this week and it made me think, WHAT IF I HAD A FURRY FRIEND TO NUZZLE AND LOOK AFTER. That might motivate me to survive. Or not. What if it dies. I think I want a kitty. I mean, just look at this:

Or a pug.

Or a miniature long-haired dachshund:

I need to get my own place.

The Constellation Voyager XYZ-Class 8322839129327316123

Visually enjoyable chat screens

My adium is beauuuutiful


Design seems to be hitting a dead end and I am bored / tired of it. Maybe I'll take a second degree in Archaeology or something. Or Women Studies. Or Linguistics. Or International Relations. Or Psychology. Or Nutrition. Or Social Science. Or Theology. Something brainy that I have zero passion for, you know? So I could earn 5 grand a month from the moment I graduate and retire by 40 and become one of those sad, lonely, rich people who devoted their entire lives to their overwhelming, demanding job all because they thought they would live a fulfilling, secure life after all that slavery but they go home to a dog.
And maybe a cat.
And probably a dozen fishes.
And a wife, perhaps a few.
And 2 rotten kids, or none.
And on weekends the kids will play tennis or golf while their mother gets her monthly botox fix, and the sad, lonely workaholic will just sit behind this lush oak table, on a posh high-backed swivel chair, and do goddamn work.

Sure, there are the lucky ones who love their high-paying jobs but I won't be able to join their merry bandwagon if I should change lines because I love what I am doing and would ideally do it for the rest of my life but the deadend is looming.


But that is life.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

This is fucking ugly

But it is also very amusing and slightly repulsive so I sketched it anyway.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

John Green

He also considers the fact that that life might be meaningless in a world that is so acutely apathetic towards us.

Everyone should read Paper Towns, Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars because John Green is lovely. And his books are really light and easy to read so even if you hate reading, it's going to be a breeze. I think. I mean, I can't be sure. But I hope it is?

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Pew pew pew.

My head is throbbing, my throat is sore, my eyes are burning, my body is freezing and I am at work.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Besides my girlfriend who is more heavenly than heavenly she transcends heaven itself and hails from another realm.


Tuesday, March 5, 2013


It dawned upon me the hopelessness of it all.
That humans will only let you down.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Tell me again why girls like boys.

Fortune tellers have prophesized that I would get married.
At the age of 28, to be precise.
(The plural was deliberate.)

It will most definitely 100% be to a girl.
In a castle.
In Scotland.
And I will wear a red frock.
And she will wear a Steampunk outfit.
And there will be candles and we will ride into the sunset on a pink horse with a cone on its head so it'd resemble a unicorn and our guests will be forced to dress in black to signify the death of juvenile relationships and freedom. And the dinner reception will be a literal bed of crimson roses and we will play Dubstep and do drugs and eventually we will all lie down and when everyone's asleep, I will nick off on my wife's butt for her to remember me by before hopping cheerfully off a cliff.

Because if I do get married, that would mean I am way overdue with dying.

Never rush out of your house

Lesson learnt:
Always change your socks no matter how late you are going to be because it is worth it. I have washed my feet 12 times so far.

When life bares its teeth I start drowning in nostalgia. Bristol and London, I have been missing you and how you never made me sweat unless I deserved to. I miss the confusing state of being in direct contact of sunlight yet feeling barely warm. I miss walking to Tesco in the middle of the night with a coat over my nightie to read nutritional labels just because you made it so convenient. I miss discovering hidden sex shops selling graphic novels with lesbian content. I miss climbing the logs at King's Park. I miss sitting on top of Clifton, watching kids slide down slippery stone walls polished by their buttocks. I miss walking the dogs at the shelter. I miss waiting for the spot of red to appear round the bend on cold winter mornings. I miss walking at a 45 degree angle while climbing College Green. I miss the book binding shop at Holborn that smelt of wax and dust. I miss the pigeons you breed to nick food off unwary people. I miss house parties and dingy cubicles in clubs. I miss your posh, extra fluffy cats. I miss everything except the eczema you left me with.


To fulfil your stalkerish desires,


  © Blogger templates Brooklyn by 2008

Back to TOP